After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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