Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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