Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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