An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize