I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You were trust falling into bushes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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