Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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