I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize