If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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