Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Drake has all the answers
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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