Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my liver is dry heaving
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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