I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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