Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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