So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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