even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize