3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're so nebulous sometimes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He did a backflip because drugs
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