ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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