I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize