im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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