Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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