i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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