your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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