dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize