margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
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After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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