He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize