Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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