My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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