so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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