actually, I'm a sock model
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize