Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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