Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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