garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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