At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Too much gin, very little bucket
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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