I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize