you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize