I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize