your room smells of hookers.
And success
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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