Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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