I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize