oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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