I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize