From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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