imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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