Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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