there's paper in my vomit.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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