Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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