im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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