he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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