i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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