Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize