When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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